Bologna!

The Source of Black Holes found to be Bologna

2005-11-04T08:31:00.000-05:00

Yesterday remnants of the challenger space shuttle found near the center of our galaxy prove that humans are responsible for black holes. More specifically, Bologna was found to be the cause. “Who would have thought Bologna is the reason we are all going to die?”, said a renounced English teacher Dr. Bath. “Those damn Mexicans with their illegal bologna”, pronounced Paris Hilton when she discovered that bologna was responsible for the hole she tripped over last week.

Feds will not man get away with B-O-L-O-G-N-A

2005-11-04T08:21:00.000-05:00

Federal agents found and destroyed 845 pounds of bologna and 100 pounds of cheese someone smuggled into the United States from Mexico, the Department of Homeland Security said Monday.
Border Patrol agents conducting a routine baggage inspection found the items when the bus the man was riding reached a checkpoint north of Las Cruces, New Mexico, on its way to Albuquerque, the agency said.
Challis said the man is Mexican and had the appropriate papers to enter the United States. The agency said the man stood to make a hefty profit. "USDA [U.S. Department of Agriculture] has approved a few Mexican processing plants to export bologna to the United States; however, this particular product contained no indication of its origin."
The CBP agency also suggested the seizure could have averted potential medical problems.
CBP Commissioner Robert Bonner called the discovery a sign of successful efforts to "coordinate inspection and enforcement on everything from illegal drugs and illegal aliens to prohibited agricultural products," according to the statement.

Bologna Ahead After Stormy Finish

2005-11-04T08:16:00.000-05:00

Igli Tare's 18th minute goal gave Bologna a 1-0 victory at Parma in the first leg of the Serie A relegation playoff game, which ended in tumult.
A late brawl spilled over into the dugouts and resulted in the sending-off of Parma coach Gedeone Carmignani and reserve goalkeeper Luca Bucci, plus Bologna coach Carlo Mazzone and visiting midfielder Christian Amoroso.
Seven players, five from Parma, had been previously booked by referee Stefano Farina for rough play.
Albania striker Tare headed in the match-winner by outjumping two defenders to meet a long cross from Valentin Nastase.
Pagliuca again saved Bologna in injury time, diving to deflect a curling free kick by Simplicio.
Bologna were seventh in March before plummeting joint 16th with Parma and Fiorentina.

Undocumented Mexican Bologna Caught Crossing Border

2005-11-04T08:00:00.000-05:00

U.S. Custom agents are claiming victory in the war against illegal immigration after they have successfully apprehended a man, carrying illegal Mexican Bologna rolls, trying to cross the border between Mexico and California."Thousands of them cross the border illegally all the time." We don't want illegals breaking the law in our country by bringing in illegal bologna rolls!""Stated a man on the street, Mr. Dumbculo, "I mean, they stop one guy with 8 bologna rolls and they are happy because that shows that they can stop the illegal immigration problems? In other news, bologna sandwich prices are said to go up by 50% since illegal Bologna rolls are no longer allowed to cross the border.

Bologna Knew his City

2005-11-04T07:58:00.000-05:00

Ad advocate for Italian-American interests, it was fitting that Bologna. Bologna, also known as Sando or Sandy, worked at the Republican-American from 1929 until 1985. In 1935, he became an office boy and apprentice writer for the morning Republican.
In 1941, Mr. Bologna was transferred to the American, at the time the afternoon newspaper, where he wrote local military news. He became a feature writer of the Sunday Magazine of the Sunday Republican in 1970. In 1993, he wrote and published "The Italians of Waterbury," a pictorial history. Four years later, he co-authored "Growing Up Italian and American in Waterbury," an oral history, with Judge Richard M. Marano.
"Sandy possessed a marvelous curiosity about people and he reveled in telling stories of ordinary people and made them seem extraordinary."
Bologna was born Jan. 20, 1915, in Portland, son of Rosario and Teresa (Vasques) Bologna, who had immigrated from Sicily.

Celebrating National Bologna Day

2005-11-04T07:56:00.000-05:00

However it is prepared, bologna is the all-time favorite cold cut.
Today is National Bologna Day and it is worth a celebration of trying at least one slice of America's most popular lunch meat.
There is also chicken bologna, and for those with a more exotic taste, venison or moose bologna can be consumed.
After the cooking process, the meat is then pureed and stuffed into casings. After a period of refrigeration, the completed product is sliced, packaged and shipped to the stores, ready to eat.
During the 14th Century, monks in a monastery near the northern Italian city of Bologna were reported to have made bologna. The monks kept secret the amount and type of spices used and never revealed how long to slow cook the bologna.

Student Studies in Bologna

2005-11-04T07:54:00.000-05:00

Marcy L. Taubes, a junior religion major at Dickinson College, Carlisle, Pa., is participating in the college's study abroad program in Bologna, Italy, for the academic year 2005-06. The curriculum at The K. Robert Nilsson Center for European Studies in Bologna focuses on international relations, history, economics, history, fine arts and Italian studies. The college-sponsored programs are currently offered in 13 countries including Australia, Cameroon, China, England, France, Germany, India, Italy, Japan, Korea, Mexico, Russia and Spain. More than 80 percent of the student body engages in foreign study.

False Bomb Alert in Town Hall of Bologna

2005-10-07T11:43:00.000-04:00

The package was a blue bag. The fake bomb that led to disposal experts attending Palazzo d'Accursio, the seat of the town hall in Bologna, was accompanied by a flyer from a Craftsmans Guild, known to reporters for a claim of responsibility for certain arson attacks in Bologna in the winter of 2003. It appears that today's false alarm was in a bag addressed to the mayor and contained a video with electric cables. The disposal team made it secure, carrying it into the courtyard of the town hall where they ascertained that it was harmless.

My Blog

2005-09-30T12:00:00.000-04:00

This is George Hotz's blog for the Fly in the Ointment